giancarlo can!

Mortgage Discussion

Email from [ex-wife] to me

I spoke with [gal] from [bank] this afternoon. She said that you told her our agreement was I would pay the mortgage for January, you would pay the mortgage for February and we would split the rest of the months. Unless I missed something I don’t think I agreed to that.

Email from me to [ex-wife]

That’s not what I told [gal]. Actually… I didn’t even speak with [gal].

Quite honestly [ex-wife]… I have no idea what you said and to whom. Weeks ago [gal] told me you were willing to pay the full amount of the adjusted mortgage payment. I can’t afford it. When I went to show up for signing the paperwork I was told I needed to pay half. I don’t have it. I told them what I know.

All we need to do is spend ten minutes to talk this whole thing over. This isn’t rocket-science. We are sending messages through four different people and (quite obviously) it isn’t working. Let’s set up a time to discuss.

Email from [ex-wife] to me

[gal] told me she heard that from [guy], the gentleman you met with yesterday. I went to see [gal] today and she said your attorney mentioned another agreement. The only thing that “isn’t working” is your poor communication with your attorney.

I will not be discussing anything of importance with you.

Email from me to [ex-wife]

How in the world are we going to get anything done if you won’t discuss anything of any importance with me?

That said, are you willing to sit down to discuss mortgage payments so we can save the house from foreclosure?

Email from [ex-wife] to me

I am not going to sit down and “discuss” anything with you. Your version of “discussing” is me agree with you or you get upset. Why would I discuss and/or agree to anything with the one person who has and would screw me over in the blink of an eye?

If you have anything you would like to discuss please have your attorney contact my attorney.

Homework Issues

Email from me to [ex-wife]

On Tuesday, Gabrielle brought home a homework assignment that had only 13 of 22 (9 wrong) questions correct. I assumed this homework had been done on her own (at [daycare]). When I asked Gabrielle about the assignment, she told me she had completed the sheet at the [your place] house (under your supervision). I asked if Gabrielle got any help from you, she replied, “Mom told me I just wanted the answers.” She went on to tell me that you refused to help her, instead you spent the evening working on your own homework.

In one of your previous emails you stated, “Gabrielle gets most of her homework done in the homework room during [daycare] although they do not check the answers. I check Gabrielle’s completed homework each night - especially her math sheets.”

Based on recent events, it seems your statement isn’t true. Though I don’t re-do or re-check homework Gabrielle completes at school, I always do homework with Gabrielle. Also, I always check the homework Gabrielle and I do together.

Can you address any of these statements? Thanks.

Email from [ex-wife] to me

Why do you ask me questions when I know you won’t believe my answer? Why would I waste my time answering them? Do I really need to explain what I do with the girls every second I have them? No, I don’t. You are not there, you do not know what goes on.

As far as “13 out of 22” wrong, I have many math worksheets from days they are with you where she has over half of her problems wrong.

Please keep your parenting “tips” and “concerns” to yourself.

Missing School

Email from me to [2nd grade teacher] with a CC to [ex-wife]

Hello again [2nd grade teacher]. I hope this message finds you well.

I just wanted to send this message along to inform you that Gabrielle will not be in class tomorrow (Wednesday, January 23). Gabrielle has spent most of the evening with a temperature between 100 and 102 degrees.

My parenting obligations ended this evening at 8:00 PM, however, feel free to call me with any questions ([555-555-5555]).

Email from [ex-wife] to me

You’re right, your parenting time ended at 8PM. You were in no position to email the teacher saying Gabrielle would not be there. Please don’t do it again.

Email from me to [ex-wife]

I was just trying to help… I was told (by [employee] at [daycare]) that Gabrielle’s fever was over 101 (while she was still at [daycare]). Last night I recorded Gabrielle’s temperature at slightly over 102 degrees.

According to the school nurse, children are not allowed to return to school until they have been fever-free for 24 hours. This means their temperature does not exceed 100 degrees without the aid of Tylenol or Ibuprofen.

My official parenting time expired at 8:00 PM, however, the message was composed while Gabrielle was still under my care (approx. 9:00 PM). More importantly, even though my physical time with the girls had ended, this does not exclude me from communicating with her teachers.

In other words, I do not intend to stop communicating with the school. I can, however, stop extending the courtesy of CC-ing you on those messages. Either way you decide, please let me know.

Email from [ex-wife] to me

You are not allowed to say if the girls will or will not be going to school. That is not up to you regardless of the school rules. I don’t care if you talk with the teachers or not, but you are not allowed to say what the girls will or will not be doing during a school day.

Email from me to [ex-wife]

I disagree. If either of the girls has a temperature (i.e., 100+) during my parenting time (on Tuesday or Thursday night) then she does not go to school the following day. Sorry.

Email from [ex-wife] to me

You can do whatever you want with the girls when it is your time. You can not say what the girls will or will not be doing when the girls are with me.

Email from me to [ex-wife]

I think I understand… It seems my word choice gave you the impression I was controlling you. I’ll try not to let it happen again.

The next time the girls are with me (within 24 hours of school) and they are sick (e.g., 100+ temp, vomiting, etc.) I will not decide where they will be. As a parent, however, I will fulfill my obligation to tell the school that the girl(s) were sick with me and I don’t anticipate their arrival the following day. This would ultimately leave you in full control to decide if anyone goes to school.

I just want to be clear… Though I told Gabrielle’s teacher she wouldn’t be at school, I did not force her to stay home; that decision was yours.